Why ADHD Overachievers Keep Job Hopping (and how to break the burnout cycle)

  Hello, gorgeous humans. How are you doing today? I'm really excited to talk about this topic. I know I start the every episode like that, but I genuinely fucking do. I only talk about things that I'm really passionate about, and I only talk about things that I see that are. Like persistent issues in, it could be either past issues that I've worked with or I'm still working through, or that my clients are working through.

So I know as a highly intelligent, natural problem solver, dopamine seeker that you are going to be obsessed with this episode and probably send it to all of your overachieving dopamine seeking a DHD friends as well. So today I am talking about why fixing all of these systemic issues at work is not the actual solution.

We're gonna get into why this happens. What the cycle is that's creating burnout and also what the fuck to do about it, because why would we just talk about an issue and not talk about the solution that would be just gosh darn silly. So what I am talking about is this as a natural born problem solver, I'm gonna take a wild guess that your.

Career has looked a little bit something like this, especially if you're someone who has gone from job to job someone who's gone from job to job, and also is very highly intelligent and a really natural born problem solver. I've seen this cycle happen. Okay, so lemme paint a picture.

This is how it starts. You are. Accepted for the job really quickly after you interview. You are charismatic. You know what to say. They really like that. You have a quick wit. There's just a lot of really likable things about you. They can tell that you are a very capable person and therefore it lands you the job.

Yay hippie. Hooray. You are ecstatic. You are super excited about the new job you got. It's gonna be so much different than the last time. You can just tell because they really like you and they appreciate you, and it's gonna be different this time. And. Cue the honeymoon stage. You are feeling blissful about it, but it doesn't take very long because guess what?

It doesn't take very long for you to get trained on this job, even though it might be something you've never done before or it's way outside your scope, or it's a huge. Promotion, and you haven't had those job duties before, but guess what? It doesn't take very long to train you because you're a really good problem solver, and this is still a really happy face because they're thinking, oh my gosh, we just hired the perfect person for this job.

This is amazing. Everyone is feeling really good about it. Okay, I. Then comes the overachiever phase. You are not only doing just your job duties, but it doesn't take long for you to look around and see what's going wrong in all of the other departments around you. What's going wrong within your current department?

You are seeing holes everywhere that you look, and it happened not very long after starting this job now. This phase can be exciting. You look around and you see all of the potential, that shitty person that you dated back in high school or college, that they had so much potential. But they were trash, weren't they?

So you're looking at it, being all excited. Oh my gosh, I can fix this. I know what to do for this place to run better. I know how to run, know how to make everyone smoother. I know how to make all the other employees happier. I know how to make myself happier. This is incredible. But you're not looking at it as, okay, these, this is what's in my job and this is what's in their job, and that's not my job.

You're looking at it as this could make my life easier too. If everything ran better, it would make my life easier. And of course, they want this place to run better because who wouldn't want a place to run better, make more money, make the people happier, so this can be a happy ish period because you're demonstrating that you are capable far beyond what's in your job description and in the beginning for them, that's fun because you're filling in holes in other places, but it doesn't take very long for you to figure out that there is some red tape and in order for those deep, systemic issues to get fixed, which you see the solutions for those too.

This is where it gets tricky because guess what? Those issues are there for a reason. This is where the frustration starts with you and it starts with other people because you are gonna start pointing out the very obvious issues that you see. You're gonna talk to people who have the job titles to do something about these issues.

You might even come to them with the solutions that you have thought through, and you're gonna hit a brick wall. Why these people in these jobs do not actually want to fix these solutions? The problem is not everybody is as ambitious and as much of a problem solver as you. Not everybody is as intelligent as you.

There is a 99% chance that the person that's above you who hasn't fixed these issues. Does not have your brain, does not see the problems as clearly as you do, does not see the solutions as clearly as you do, and does not have the ambition to actually fix the problems. They're looking at this in a completely different way.

You are looking at this in a very logical way. You're thinking. You know what? It's gonna take some effort to fix these really deep rooted issues, but once I do, my life is gonna be so much easier. Everyone's life is gonna be easier. It is worth it to put in the effort to fix these issues. Now, the people in these positions, their thought processes.

That's a lot of work. Let's put a bandaid on it and call it a day. You are coming to these people saying, listen, if you just keep putting a bandaid over this, it's gonna turn into a big gaping wound because we need to take that off. We need to I'm thinking like OT terms, like we need to d. Debrief the wound, is that the right word for it?

Debrief, brief it, get all the dirt and the gunk and the shit out of it. We need to put some medicine on that bitch. We need to be cleaning it out every day. But you know what? Once we do that every day, it's gonna heal from the inside out. It's gonna be beautiful, I promise you. And they're saying, yeah, but I don't really feel like looking at it.

And if we just put a bandaid on it for right now. It's fine. We can keep going about our day and you can for a little while, you can put a bandaid on an issue and things can go back to normal with the, issues that they currently have. It's like putting maybe, I don't know. This doesn't really exist, I don't think, but like shitty gas in a car.

The car could still go, but it's not premium fuel. And they're looking at it like, yeah, but the car still goes and you're like, listen, the car could go a lot faster and the wound could be cleaned out and be better, but you don't fucking wanna do that. And that's the problem. They don't wanna do it.

Here's the other problem. You do not have the job title to be able to create all of those systemic changes. I know it sucks. It's really hard being smarter, being more capable than the people who have job titles that are higher than yours, than people who are getting paid a lot more money than you are getting paid.

It fucking sucks. This is where burnout happens when you feel like you are. On a hamster wheel, going to the middle of nowhere, seeing things that other people are not seeing. It's really hard. For people with brains like ours, very highly intelligent problem solving humans. It causes burnout. I have believe faster when you see all of these issues that you can't do a damn thing about versus being overworked with things that you, that are in your control.

I really believe this. I have seen this over and over again in my clients. I have experienced it myself. It is just a thing that happens. So what happens? You deal with it for as long as you can until one day you fucking rage quit. You update your resume and you either go without employment for a while and figure out how am I gonna live until the next job,

or maybe you are able to stick it out until you get another job. And the cycle continues and then you tell yourself, the next job won't be like this. The next job, they're gonna appreciate me and it was the job that was the issue. Here are some hard truths and some myths. I the job, your next job, if this was the issue, is not going to get easier.

Unless you do something about it, we're gonna talk about those things. But the job itself is not the issue. It is the issue because there are some incompetent people that are in positions that they should not be in. There are some really incompetent leaders in companies, and I say leaders with very loose air quotes because, holy fuck, there's a lot of lack of leadership happening when this shit happens.

But unless you're working at a company where there are very competent leaders, you are going to come into this issue over and over again. The job itself was not the issue. The issue is that there's a lot of incompetent leaders in the workplace who don't want to do the deep work of cleaning out the wound so that it can heal and it can be a better place overall.

Let's talk a little bit more about why this cycle happens. For one, you're a really good problem solver. You've been a problem solver your entire life, especially if you've had un accommodated disabilities your entire life. You've had to figure out how to do workarounds in order to just function on a day-to-day basis.

That requires a level of problem solving that neurotypical people. Weren't forced to develop. You're really good at problem solving, and you may have some pattern recognition where it's really quick that you see all the problems. It's almost like you have glasses on, but everybody around you doesn't, and it's like your vision has glasses, but theirs doesn't.

So everyone looks like they're not wearing glasses, but. Only your vision's good. Does that make sense? I hope so. And guess what that problem solving is? Giving you dopamine and as a highly intelligent dopamine deficient A DHD human, it feels good to solve problems. So therefore you're looking for more and you're thinking of more ways to solve it.

Solving problems is like that beautiful intersection of. You know what you're good at and what you need. Problem solving is something you're good at. Dopamine is something you need, and the intersection of the two is the sweet spot, but corporations get red tape in the way of you getting to that sweet spot because they don't actually want to arrive at that solution with you in the last thing.

You think it's gonna make your life easier by solving all of these issues, but it's not. In your head, you're looking at what could happen if you had the power to make systemic changes in this company. But the hard truth is you are not going to be looked at with the same respect as someone who has the job title to actually make those changes.

And I know this sucks. This was such a hard thing for me to learn. This is something that if I had learned this very thing back when I was in the workforce, I may not have started my own business because I thought that the work itself was the issue when really it was a boundaries issue within myself that was causing the cycle to continue.

So the good news is you're not doomed. The better news is you don't have to start a business just because this is the issue. Quite frankly, starting a business is incredibly hard. It is not for everybody, and for some people it's amazing. For other people, it's just not the solution. So if you're listening to this thinking okay, the workforce is not made for brains like mine.

Therefore, I cannot work in a nine to five job. That's not true. That's not true. We're gonna get go through. A little bit of what to do, a lot of, bit of what to do and how to save your sanity while continuing in that nine to five job.

So part one of the solution. Is working only your job description. I know it probably hurts to even think about this, only work your job description. You are gonna have to have some blinders on, and I know it's hard as someone who is a highly intelligent problem solver, someone who's also very empathetic.

So you're seeing how the lack of. Problems being solved is affecting other people. I know this is incredibly hard for you, but if it's not in your job description, it's not your problem. Maybe you wanna write that on a notepad somewhere or on a sticky note that you put on your desk or maybe somewhere that they can't see it.

Or maybe you wanna write it down and put it as your background on your phone. If it's not in your job description, it is not your problem. If it's not in your job description, it's not your problem. If it's not in your fucking job description, it is not your problem. Put those blinders on. Do not offer anything outside of that.

I know you are brilliant. You know you are brilliant. This is not the place to over demonstrate your brilliance. Remind yourself that by doing this, you will continue the cycle and you will burn out the next step. This is gonna be a really hard part, but is very important when they do not do.

What is needed to fix the problems? The problems that you're not gonna point out by the way, because it's not your problem. You are going to let that ship sink, and you are not going to be the first one to repair the patch. There are so many amazing, capable humans that feel like, yeah, but if I don't do this, the ship is gonna sink.

Let it sink, let it let that house burn to the fucking ground. Sometimes people need to experience being wrong, to understand that they are wrong, and a lot of times this is people who are in leadership positions who should not be there. They have to let the ship sink to realize that there was even a small crack that needed to be tended to let the ship sink.

This is not your time to go into savior mode. A lot of us growing up as kids, we had to hold the house together and. Be hypervigilant of issues and how other people are feeling and thinking and solve problems even before they occur because if we didn't, our basic human needs wouldn't be met. Or maybe there was abuse in the house.

I think a lot of this also can be really hard depending on the childhood that you grew up in and the feelings of helplessness that you had and the control that you had to have in order to gain a semblance of safety. When these feelings pop up in the workplace, it's a really good time to remind yourself, I am not a kid anymore.

I am not vulnerable. To the decisions and lack of actions that other people are taking. I am safe here. Nothing bad is going to happen to me if I don't go in and save the day.

Letting the ship sink. When you were a kid, it may have meant not getting fed. It may have meant abuse, neglect. But that's not what's happening here, my friend. So remind yourself of that when these feelings arise in you, because you will want to go into savior mode and it will take conscious thought not to do that.

Okay? That's part one, setting that boundary. Part two, you are still a dopamine deficient human that loves problem solving. And you know what? That's okay. It is time to find a place to channel some of that problem solving into that isn't going to result in burnout. I'm gonna give you some suggestions and the overachiever in you is probably gonna be like, oh my gosh, Jamie.

No, I could not do that. But as a fellow overachiever and a fellow person who loves problem solving, I'm gonna tell you something that I've been doing recently. I have been playing games. Yep. Games that require problem solving. I've been playing this game called House Flipper, and it's really fun because you can buy these shitty houses and you can paint them and put furniture in them and make them all cute, and the buyers tell you what they want in the house and you can figure out how to do it in a creative way, and then you set the house up the way that you wanted.

Sell it and you sell it and you make money on it, and then you use it to buy another house and then you flip that house. It is so much fun, especially as someone who has started so many projects but didn't finish them, because like painting a shelf requires 17,000 steps and I can't just press buttons on a remote to do it.

Playing games has been a really fun way to get dopamine outside of my work. Also, if you think that. Having a business is going to solve this issue. It is not because shit boundaries are going to show up in your own business too. You have the authority to problem solve in your business, but if you are getting all of your dopamine from work, which a large part of this issue is that you're getting all of your joke mean from work, that won't go away when you have a business.

That is something I had to work through as a business owner myself. So as a business owner, this is still something that I have to deal with. Anyway, had to put that out there. No, having a business is not going to solve all those problems. Having a business does not make your problems go away. It just makes your problems different.

Instead of dealing with an overpaid tool of a boss who is incompetent, you are the sole person that can bring in any money in your business. So it's not better problems, they're just different. And this issue of deriving all of your dopamine from work will still be there even if you are a business owner.

Okay, so let's go back to some other things that you can do to channel that energy. You can learn a new language. Maybe you wanna download one of those apps that you can learn a new language every day that's problem solving. That takes thinking. Maybe you want to pick up a hobby.

Because that gives you dopamine too. It's okay to spend some money on some fucking hobbies. I despise this idea that, A DHD humans, we start something and we don't finish it. I had a friend who told me recently, why is it a problem? I can't remember her exact words, but I was just like. Why do I have to want to do the same hobby for the rest of my life?

I don't. Maybe I wanna make some pot holders, but I don't wanna only make pot holders for the rest of my life. So if your wallet can handle it, I'm giving you permission to buy yourself some stuff to do a hobby. And guess what? You'll cycle through the hobby when it gets boring and you'll go on to the next one.

But guess what? You're still gonna have those materials there for when you wanna come back to the hobby. That's okay. Find a place to channel. That creativity and that problem solving, you might find that you really love games. I never thought I would love games in the way that I do, but it turns out I really enjoy flipping houses and doing games that require problem solving

and. Something else I wanna say is you do not have to channel all of your extra creative energy into something, into a side gig that's going to bring in more money. Not everything needs to be something that brings in money, okay? From one business owner to maybe another or to someone who's working a job.

Have a creative outlet that you are not able to make money from, like buying a fucking house flipper game and doing that instead. All right, my friends, I hope that this was helpful. If you are struggling with this, I am the perfect coach to help you through it. In the show notes, there's going to be a link for a free 30 minute consultation.

I cannot wait to hear what you're struggling with and what I could help you work through one-on-one so that this cycle. Fucking stops. And you enjoy your life outside of work and you enjoy your life at work because it's not draining the ever loving shit out of you. In the show notes, you're also going to see a link to a free webinar that I created called Before You Rage, quit Your Job.

Try this. And my gosh, if you've loved this episode, you're going to love that work. What is it called? Webinar. There it is. You're gonna love the webinar. It's about information that is not in this episode. And the last thing, can you do me a giant favor and rate this podcast rating? This podcast is a really good way to help the algorithm to reach people who wouldn't be able to find this information otherwise.

It would be doing me a giant solid. There's only like 10 reviews on Apple Podcasts right now for my podcast. And there's 51 episodes and there's a lot of you that are downloading it consistently on the first day that it comes out. Almost like a between like one 30 and one 50. So if even just a few of you rated my podcast, that'd be super helpful.

Give it five stars. Be even more helpful. Alright, my friends, I will talk to you next week. Bye now.