Episode 52
· 20:07
Welcome to the Outsmart, A DHD podcast. I'm your host, Jamie Catino, board certified occupational therapist. Two-time Ted Speaker, A DHD coach, A DHD, advocate and Reality Show, contestant. Now let's talk about A DH. D.
Hello, gorgeous humans. How the heck are you doing? I'm really excited to talk to you about sleep. Sleep is so freaking important. It is the like number one. Offense to getting incredibly burnt out. There's so much else. There's so many other things that go into burnout, but talk about your ability to emotionally regulate executive functioning.
We need all the support that we can get for those things because having a DHD means having an underdeveloped frontal lobe that struggles with those things.
And sleep is something that so many A DHD humans struggle with. There's a statistic in the How to A DHD book with Jessica McCabe, which it's an amazing book. I highly recommend it, that talked about is either 98 or 99% of A DHD humans have sleep issues. So I know that if you're listening to this and if you have a DHD, there's a really good chance that you struggle with sleep in some way, shape, or form.
Whether that be trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, feeling rested. Once you do wake up, you're struggling. And you know what? I'm here to help you. I'm gonna bring in some things that I've learned as an occupational therapist, but also just some no bullshit. This is what I have found works for me after years of trial and error and seeing what the fuck will actually help me with my sleep.
So let's get into it.
When it comes to sleep, you're already at a disadvantage because you have a dopamine deprived brain, which means that you're gonna be seeking things That gives you dopamine a lot faster. Some of those things are scrolling. Social media. There's a reason why a lot of us have a really hard time getting off of TikTok.
First of all, it is programmed the way that it is so that you don't stop scrolling. And all social media really is programmed so that you don't stop scrolling, which is really hard to break away from damn near impossible for any human, let alone if you are A DHD. So first of all, let me just normalize that you're struggling with your sleep and it doesn't have to do with you as a person or that you don't value your sleep or.
Anything like that, it's that you have not been taught what a sleep routine looks like when you have a DHD. It is so incredibly different from the blanket advice that we get from neurotypical people of, just don't look at a screen for 17 hours before you fall asleep. That's not gonna work for us because guess what?
Our brain is revving way too high to even be able to slow down. So I wanna introduce the idea of how much simulation our brain is seeking and the simulation that it gets, those being similar. The same is what's gonna help your body to be able to calm down, and it takes a process from how high your brain is revved up during the day to the stimulation it needs right before it goes to bed.
And it is never a zero stimulation that it needs. That's the thing. This is why we cannot will ourself and just have an app blocker that turns off social media and therefore we're able to sleep. There's a reason. It's because we are not doing this downshifting before going to bed.
So I wanna go into a little bit of what my sleep routine looks like as an example of what I mean by the downshifting. Now, if you find me around six or 7:00 PM there's a 99% chance that what you'll find me doing is. On my couch watching tv, it's likely some type of reality show, something that's pretty stimulating to me.
And playing a game on my phone simultaneously, just watching TV unless it's like really interesting is not enough stimulation for me at my baseline, especially once my meds have worn off. And by that time you can bet your ass that my meds have long worn off. So you'll find me watching TV and playing a game at the same time, very high stimulation, and you'd find me in that state until about 10:00 PM.
At that time, my app blocker does kick me from the games on my phone, and the reason for that is it's more stimulating for me to play those games versus just watching tv. No matter how intriguing the show I'm watching is. Have you ever noticed that when you're watching TV that it's really hard to find anything that will give you the same yeah, not high, but dopamine effect that scrolling social media or playing a game on your phone does. There's a reason why Candy Crush is really hard to break yourself away from and zero judgment. I was playing Candy Crush there for a long time. I've just moved on to other games anyway, from.
10 o'clock until 12 o'clock. I am just watching a show, although an interesting show, something I've probably not watched before from 12 o'clock until one o'clock. I purposely switch the TV to a show that I have watched before so that it is still stimulating. But since I know what's gonna happen, know because I have a ADHD and I've probably forgotten.
50% of it or more, but it's a show that I don't feel like I'm gonna miss something if I'm not actively watching it. But it also gives my brain something to focus on other than just turning inward. The reason that this works so well is because our brains rev so high in as far as dopamine seeking. And it takes a very deliberate downshifting to get your body to the point of being tired.
Now, once upon a time, I thought that just having my screens off or turning it off at a certain time would work really well for me Before I really knew what the fuck I was doing. I gave this advice to people that, just the big thing is to have an app blocker that keeps you from. Scrolling or playing games for an hour before you go to bed.
And here's what happens. If you just take that advice, your brain is in like sixth gear right now. What happens if you've ever driven a manual car? You're gonna know exactly what I'm getting at here. But if you've got a car, let's say it's in like fifth gear, and you immediately put it down to first gear, what happens?
Oh my gosh. That car is so not happy. It's grinding gears all the way down. It is not good for that car and is not how that car is made. How you drive a manual car. Is you gradually shift down in the gears, and that is why this approach works so well. If you were to just put an app blocker on and you were, say, on TikTok and whatnot, and then 10 o'clock rolls around and it kicks you off, what's gonna happen?
First of all, you're gonna get really pissed off because your brain is not happy with going from that level of dopamine and that level of stimulation to nothing. And if your brain can't find the stimulation that it needs externally, it's gonna go internally. This is why you might find yourself getting pissed, looking at old memories that you've had, or just processing the day.
Also, you need some time in your day to be able to process your day, because if you don't process enough during the day, it will hit you like a ton of bricks in night. And that's a separate issue. But what's gonna happen if you go from a hundred to zero really quick is that your brain is going to go internally to find its stimulation.
This is why it is really unhelpful to give advice like an app blocker without all of the other caveats of downshifting.
When it comes to your sleep schedule and say your sleep hygiene. Identify some things that can help you to downshift that aren't going to feel painful. Here's the thing, it shouldn't feel painful. Your sleep hygiene should not feel painful. It should feel like a way that helps you to guide your brain into working at a slower pace so that you can get to the point of being able to fall asleep.
It can be a challenge going from fifth year to fourth gear. It sucks. I will not tell you that it does not suck. When my app blocker pops up at 10:00 PM and says, you're done playing games, I'm not gonna tell you that I enjoy it. I don't, because guess what? I wanna keep playing my fucking games. But after that, I know that I'm still able to watch the TV show that I already had on at that time.
So it's a much easier switch and sometimes just watching the show isn't enough. So I will bring out my crochet yarn and crochet hook, but it's still different than having two different screens going on at the same time. It still helps me to be able to downshift.
So for you, identify some things that you're already doing. What are you already doing? Four hours before you fall asleep? Are you watching tv? Are you scrolling on your phone? You don't have to stop doing those things, but identify what you need to be doing at those different stages to be able to.
Slow your body down and be able to sleep. I'm gonna also give you some no bullshit advice on if you are really struggling with your sleeping. I had to figure some of this out. Pretty quickly, especially after we got that puppy cheddar. I love him so much, but getting cheddar and having a dog who routinely was waking up at 7:30 AM and I was not going to bed until 3:00 PM was not working, and this is why I had to work so hard on my sleep in a really short period of time.
Because even though my partner and I were going every other morning, the other person was taking care of the dog. It really sucks to go every other day feeling like absolute dog shit through your day. So here's some no BS advice. If you are like me, let's say you're having a hard time falling asleep before 3:00 AM and you still have to wake up and be a functional human, whether that you have a nine to five job run a business, raise kids, whatever it is, if you're in this position, here are some no BS advice.
That will help you in the process, and this is gonna accompany the advice of downshifting. Okay? This first one's gonna piss you off, and I'm gonna warn you now. It will piss you off, but please hear me out as you are struggling to fall asleep. Still make yourself get up at the same time every day. I know this sucks so freaking much.
When I was having a hard time falling asleep until three or 4:00 AM I was still making myself get up at nine o'clock each morning no matter how much or how little sleep I got. There were some nights where I got even less than five hours of sleep. But the thing is, if you lean into when your body falls asleep, when you're that out of whack it, your sleep schedule's gonna continue to get later and later.
And if you have to be functional by a certain time, the next the next day, you don't have that luxury of just being able to sleep whenever you want and wake up whenever you want. So by waking up at the same time each day, including the weekends, it is slowly gonna train your body to be able to fall asleep at an earlier time, quite frankly, because you are going to be exhausted and you're gonna have to have some of that exhaustion to train your body to fall asleep at a little bit earlier time.
It sucks. I know it absolutely fucking sucks and it's a last thing you wanna hear, but it is very helpful. So make yourself get up at the same time every day, even on the weekends. I was really surprised when I started doing this of how much letting myself sleep in for a few hours on the weekends was messing with my.
Monday through Friday schedule, it is not worth it. I did not find that it was worth it to let myself sleep in when it already takes so much to get myself on some type of sleep schedule. Okay. The next piece of advice is do not go to bed until you're, until you are tired. Do not go to bed at the time that you want to be sleeping.
As you are working through your sleep issues, you will find. That if you are laying in your bed for a long time before you're falling asleep, that your body is now gonna associate the bed with a place that you stay awake. Your bed is not made for anything other than sleep and sexy time. If you're not doing either of those things, get the fuck outta that bed because it is not for you.
Okay. Even if you are having to stay on your couch until 2:00 AM and then drag your ass to your bedroom, do that. Do not go to bed until you are actually tired. I'm giving you permission right now to not feel bad for being on your couch until you are tired enough to actually fall asleep in your bed.
Okay. The next no BS advice. I am telling you this as a friend. I am not telling you this as a healthcare professional at all. Okay? So I'm telling you, as your friend, talk to your doctor if you want to take this advice or whatnot, magnesium with trace minerals, especially for those of you who are incredibly.
Burnt out. Let's say that you've been burnt out for a long time. Your body just feels like it is caught up with you. I recently did a hair test and a hair test shows all the different ways that your body's depleted, and it was just like. Bitch, you are so depleted right now. There's a reason that I have automatically started feeling better with just taking magnesium.
It has helped not only with my sleep, but also with how I feel during the day. Typically. Magnesium with trace Minerals has helped immensely. Amazing advice that I got from a friend of mine who was seeing a a PA that I'm now. Seeing myself and I'm gonna be having her on the podcast eventually.
She's incredible. So Magnesium with trace. Mineral minerals really great for sleep. And I found when I took regular magnesium, that wasn't very helpful. So magnesium with trace minerals, very helpful. Tastes absolutely fucking disgusting. The kind that I have, I mix it. It's a liquid form and I mix the drops in a juice and I knock that back, and then I have my Sprite on the side as a chaser.
It's disgusting, but it's so worth it. And if you're so incredibly sleep deprived it's worth it. Okay, next, no BS piece of advice is to actually use an app blocker when it comes to things like social media or. Games on your phone. You do not have to stop enjoying games or social media on your phone, but an app blocker is going to be really helpful because do not expect yourself to not reach for your phone.
When you are consciously working on your sleep schedule, there are going to be lots of times, probably most days, that you will not be able to will yourself out of getting off of your phone, because guess what? That is not how a dopamine deprived brain functions. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, but.
Expecting yourself to do that without having something actually blocking you. Damn near zero chance of doing that. I found an app blocker that works for me. I'm not at all affiliating with that, affiliated with them that I have found to be really helpful because it doesn't let you get around it like a lot of app blockers do.
And it is literally called App block, A-P-P-B-L-O-C-K. I. Did the free trial of it and it was really cool because the free trial does not automatically make you subscribe where most free trials, once you're done, it automatically subscribes you. This one didn't. So try using app block and. See if that helps you.
The paid version has been 1000% worth it because they have a strict mode and as long as you have your schedule set up or exactly how much you want it to block you, it will. And once it's on strict mode, you're not able to mess with the settings. So when it's, when you have it set to block you, there's no way to even like uninstall it.
They have thought of everything for this app. It's really helpful. Alright, and my last piece of. No BS advice I am telling you as a friend is weed gummies. This can be a really helpful tool to help you to get on track of some type of sleep schedule and look at your state and what the regulations are and what the laws are.
I'm telling you as a friend what has been helpful. I live in Colorado, thank goodness it's legal here, but this is something that has been incredibly helpful. For me, and obviously if you buy it at a like a legitimate store, you know exactly how much that you need to take to help you to sleep. I took one last night.
I did. I've been on a pretty good sleep schedule where I've been able to fall asleep by 1:00 AM most days and I'm up at 9:00 AM but I needed some extra help. So last night I took a little weed gummy, and guess what? I slept fantastically my friend. I hope that this no BS advice helps you to be able to sleep.
It's gonna take some trial and error to figure out what exactly do I need to downshift, figure out what can give my brain enough stimulation to go from, stage four to stage three to stage two to stage one, or however you wanna name it. Play around with it, but don't go.
From fifth gear to first gear or else you're gonna be really pissed off and you're gonna be awake a lot thinking about how much you wish you were fucking sleeping.
If you are a career driven A DHD woman that is. Thinking about rage quitting your fricking job. Before you do that, go to my show notes and click my free webinar. It is made for high achieving, highly intelligent A DHD women who are getting really fucking fed up with their job, who wanna leave with their fingers in the air.
This webinar is free and it is for you. It is in the show notes, and if you're wondering what it would be like to work with each other one-on-one. Go to the show notes and schedule a free consultation with me. You can chat with me for 30 minutes. I wanna know all about what you are struggling with, and guess what?
If I am not the best person for you, I will refer you out because I am much too ethical and my business name means way too much for me to. Fuck it up by telling you that I can help you when I really can't. So if I can help you, I'm gonna help the fuck out of you. But if I can't, I'll refer you out. But chances are, if you're listening to this podcast and you are a high achieving, highly intelligent A DHD woman that is feeling burnt out in your career, or you have an established business and you are feeling like, holy shit, I built this really cool thing that's making a lot of money, but now I don't know how to keep up with it.
If those sound like you. I am the best coach for you. So click the show notes and you will see a link to get a free one-on-one consult with me. I wanna hear about all of the things. And last thing, if you can take one second to rate this podcast, that would be super duper helpful. It is a way to help the algorithm to find the people who need this information that wouldn't be getting it otherwise.
Okay, that's it. I will talk to you next time my friends. Bye now.
Are you a high achieving woman with a DHD looking for a coach or maybe an event coordinator looking for a wildly captivating speaker? Perfect. Go to outsmart adhd.co. That's out. Smart adh adhd.co to get in touch. And before I forget, would you mind taking a minute to share this podcast with someone you love?
It would mean the world to me. Thanks, my friend. Until next time.
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